I become friends with this white girl named Erin A. when I was a teenager. Turns out, she was an acquaintance of mine in grade school. We didn’t like each other as she would always team up with this white girl named Candace, who hated black people of course, so when I had enough and simply dropped her out of my life and didn’t consider her a friend anymore, it was too late. She had already called me a ‘nigger’ behind my back and she was ready to kill me along with her racist friends, but silly me... I forgot her just the same way she made me forget our history, forgot and forgave her, gave her the fucking cheek and she made my life so miserable I wanted to kill myself, so now I know it’s okay to forgive, but never forget. Never forget the awful things that white people could do to you. The crackers wanted me dead, and I was going to commit suicide, having enough arrogance to do it when I didn’t even know myself.
So, that’s when her white friends decided I’d be a good target to make fun of. So, they always made sure to drop their pencils and school supplies when I was around just to tell me to ‘pick it up, nigga’. Even when I did a school assignment better than Erin, she couldn’t even be in the classroom with me because she couldn’t understand how ‘a nigga could be smarter than her’. She never got in trouble for what she did. She chant the word ‘nigger’ with her white friends when I was the only black girl in an area of the school, yet she was the teacher pet. The thinly shaped white woman who was my teacher for that elementary school year hated black people too, which was real nice because she’d always boast the white girls racist ego when they had found out I did a school assignment better than they did, and told them that ‘niggas only used the pineal side of their brain, which is very small, so don’t be intimidated by her.’ She said that right in front of me when the other black kids left the room, I was the only one who still had trouble standing up for myself, no doubt from my abusive upbringing because my excuse was ‘that was what my mom taught me.’
And while I never felt like one, it still felt like being it
The pet nigga.
But, shit happens and integration has only been just as awful or worse than segregation. It’s the way of our times, of course, so I got over my white bullies after enrolling into a different elementary school so that then I can forget
forgive them. That’s all they can do now, be bullies and maybe not racist (haha). So, I didn’t see Erin and her friends for years, and by becoming ignorant and desensitized to racism (colorblind), I began to forget their racist bullying, and so I was beginning to forget them, but not in the right way.
But, I still went to school with them and I lived with them, so dealing with them was hard and they didn’t mind making it harder, and I was in no place to forgive, and to truthfully, forgive myself. I was still learning how to be colorblind. So I forgot them, it was how they were forgetful (more bland than lemonade), and slavery was forgetful (hence the ignorance) and those crackers made sure to tell me ‘but, it ain’t over and I’ve already forgotten about you’. Meaning: ‘I’ve forgot about slavery and abusing your people, so of course, I’m going to continue to oppress your people‘ says the neanderthal.
But, Erin didn’t forget me (and as much as the neanderthals act like it, they truthfully don’t forget about us. They are too jealous and spiteful to do so). She didn’t get how ‘a nigga could understand life better than her’ and she wanted to get back at me for it. I found this out when my father had us live back in the other part of town where my elementary school was, as I went to the middle school there in that area.
By, this point I’ve pretty much forgotten so much of the elementary school year, I couldn’t even remember how she looked. Besides, I’m a lot more better at remembering the feelings and the ways her friends treated me rather than how any of them looked like (they were all white too), but I also began developing an eye disease at that time (also due to the racist bullying), so I just become bad at visually deciphering everything, and even had dreams without seeing them. So, I couldn’t possibly have known that Erin would be living next to me in my apartment building, and would try to become my friend again, just to get back at me for elementary school, and would trick me, so she could get away with being sexually and verbally abusive to me. And she got her revenge, just as all the white women who’ve lied about black people raping them.
So, here I am years later, teaching myself how to get pass the awful things she did, doing my best to heal mentally from it all, yet thinking ‘how stupid of me to try to forget how my white bullies treated me, just so I could make friends with a white woman again, and have them do the same thing to me all over again.’
While the white men were sitting on their privilege, the white girls were learning how to put their meanness to use. We learn Becky could be the next Regina George. She’d just look like more of your angry average size-16-18 white american women; these are actresses.
So it made me realize our modern enemy, in accordance to gender, could very well be the white women. The white man’s evil was physical torture. The white women’s evil is psychological torture. She’s going to be the next enemy and hopefully the gate to the end of white supremacy if we defeat her propaganda.
But next to that, haven’t you ever notice?
It’s always been a ’girl thing’ for white women to be into relationships, friendship and love; the psychological side of life. While for white men it’s the physical.
They’re all things that white women are terrible at. When she gets into a relationship, she make enemies. It’s why she need to be constantly doing quizzes and reading magazines about ‘if her friend is good for her’ and ‘what type of friend’ are you. She doesn’t know, because she became good at losing them. She learning from the white man, there’s a lot more women in business after all…
It’s the reason why white women love to be in love, but don’t even know what that is. She’d rather keep her enemies closer than her “own friends” anyway.
That’s what she did to me, and it’s why I will never make friends or date with white people again.
Besides, white women don’t need the same tools as white men to be white supremacist, because they already have their own tools and their side of this current race war is by being psychologically exploitative, since the neanderthal male got his white power physically attacking us during slavery, while killing us just so he could have us out of the way for their shitty white settlements.
This is how they did it to me.
I was a self-hater for a long time when Erin became my teenage friend, I even took pride in being called an oreo sometimes (embarrassing). And she didn’t have to physically whip me with the lick as the white men did, because she talked down on me so I could emotionally feel what a whip could of felt like, because that’s just how terrible being talked to like a nigga by a racist white is.
I think it’s interesting how black scholars like to point out how white people next tool to exterminate us will be through sex, but what about… becoming friends with them? Isn’t that how it starts? Don’t they get the permission to sexually exploit us through friendship by dating us? Isn’t the reason you become friends with someone, is to eventually date them when you become an adult and possibly marry them? Why give white people that option at all then, if we’re supposed to avoid GETTING INVOLVED with them by becoming friends with them so that they now have the means to take advantage of us through personality and emotions, and essentially who we are as human, so that eventually that friendship leads to dating… then sex which means contributing a black person we NEED black people to a genetically recessive, therefore regressive, white population that wholly depends on it badly formulated economies for secuirty, while this racist white friend of mine would of had no problem doing just that to me?
Because that’s what she did.
It’s just the way white people are using their last means to destroy us. By infiltration, so that eventually they’ll learn everything they need to know to eventually destroy us.
What me may have accomplished: Getting rid of the trans atlantic slave trade.
Goal: Get rid of integration, so we can have separation, so we can unify and get our black community to where it needs to be.
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