We’ve all been feeling it. We’ve been feeling it within our community with the gentrification. We been feeling it outside our communitites when we feel unsafe walking outside because some of us have to live in a white neighborhood where we don’t belong or some of us live where they were taught to hate white people so well that they hate themselves too even though we’ve built this whole damn country.
Now we’re at a point where we can get killed by police and/or disgruntled racist white people ‘just because‘.
And if they haven’t killed you yet, they might as well bring you close to it…
We don’t even have to be adults anymore. We have to be just as careful when we’re kids, when we just began learning how to live our lives…
Rest in peace Aiyana Mo’Nay Stanley-Jones (July 20, 2002 – May 16, 2010)
We feel it because we know it’s here. It’s exactly as our black forefathers have said:
“I Fear I May Have Integrated My People Into a Burning House” – Martin Luther King Jr.
Now, we’ve come to the point where the burning house is already burnt (our communities hardly have houses, they’ve been demolished so the white people can live there (with a Starbucks on hand too) through the powers of gentrification.
And when did this all began to happen? Well, it as MLK Jr. says…
We didn’t know that by being compliant, we were becoming silent. By deciding to live next to the white man, we didn’t know just how much we have to shut out our identities, but they told us, and we listened. Now we have to be careful of speaking too loud in public, we might sound like an Angry Black Women. Through integration, we’ve learn how to subjugate ourselves around white supremacy, we’ve learn how to bow down to the white person without even bowing down to them because now we can do that to their white institutions, establishments, and corporations; their false idols pretty much. It’s expected even.
Our time is coming to a close, and so is mine. It might not even be happening now, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen any moment.
Our future is in our hands now, and the moment it isn’t it could be taken away from any one of us, and the white person could even make it like it didn’t happen, as if we’ve never even existed. As if we didn’t even matter in the first place.
But, your life does matter, just as much as mine, because black people matter. We matter so much to our country that we built it, even as slaves, even right now. They say we don’t matter. If we didn’t build this country then America wouldn’t matter! And I mean all of it, North America, Central America and South America. We made all of this, we slaved to these countries while all these white people just became good at writing out laws and creating bullshit media to encourage them.
And I’m tired of all of it, I can see how much it’s ruined me. It has ruin me to the point that I thought it was natural to hate myself. Then I didn’t think much about my life, and I even thought about suicide, but that gives the white devil a reason to kill me and all I did was confirmed it. The devil is teaching us all of this, so now we can give them our lives. They won’t have to kill us anymore. As long as they can mentally shut you down, they can physically shut you down.
And it’s almost happened to me.
So, I consider it a gift that I’m alive, but I know it’s not just for any reason. I know that Yushua gave me this life to use it. This time I will do exactly that.
So, now that I’m in a place in my life where I can be at peace with myself, I’ll allow myself to vent, to educate, to speak. My moment of silence is over, and this blog is pretty much the marking of that for me. Hopefully it can be that for you too.