This became an inspiration to me when I just like many other black kids were trying to be cool not kewl. And like those very black kids, I had grown up in white and asian communities being influenced by their trends. I was not trying to be white, but I was trying to fit in with them. And I didn’t really manage to ever look as well as this black woman did just as the white kids never manage to look as well as any of their scene queens, but we all managed looking quite ridiculous anyway.
These were our pictures and poster of what we wanted to be
Here is how we actually looked in reality though…
Thankfully, we’ve grown up. We’ve learn that the white kids are social misfits because they just rather not talk to the black kids, but cry in their emo corners instead about how awful the world is becoming, so they can complain about the reverse racism they get for being weird. We’ve learn that the real reason these white kids were cutting themselves and doing self-destructive things was not because they were so emo, they just had mental disorders.
And did I really think this stuff was cool while the supposed cool kids and me exclaimed how we weren’t attention whores, we were just misunderstood, even though we were wearing set of mismatched clothes, had our hair dyed in zebra prints and un-natural colors, while we singed about being scene kidz caused we caused scenes wherever we’d go…. because truthfully, we just looked that awful.
But, you learn a lot during adolescence. For white people, they actually were just trying to be cool. For me & other black people, we were just trying to fit in (so maybe we can stop being suspected for robbery for “dressing” like thugs). But we’ve been trying to fit in ever since segregation became integration. And we’ve learned that these clothes, music and fashion trends were never meant for us, but them. But, we can always try to have what they do, but in the end we’ll just get ignored (racially discriminated against), and the closest we’ll ever get to being white is when we get called oreo because that’s the best we can do to try to be like them.
But, God never meant for us to be like them. How can we be the greater version of ourselves if we’re trying to be like these crazy white people instead of who we are and what god meant for us to be, which is not scene queens, but black kings and queens.
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